Jodi and Dan Adopt

Tyler Addison's arrival

2009-07-04T18:54:00.003-05:00

He's here, he's here! Tyler Addison arrived on 7/3 at 1:35 pm. He weighs 6.0 lbs. and was 19 inches long. He seems so tiny, but he's absolutely perfect and most importantly healthy.

We arrived at the hospital at 8 am and got to meet the birthmother right away. This is the part I was the most nervous about, but she was great and made the conversation very easy. A little later in the day we got to meet the birthfather as well. I can sum the day up as a very, very special and an emotional one. My favorite part was being there during delivery. We had been in and out of her room throughout the morning and then at about 1:25, the nurse popped her head in and told us she was pushing. And then she said that the birthmother said it would be okay if I came in. I jumped up and followed the nurse into the room where the pushing was already happening. Two more pushes and he was here. Beautiful baby Tyler was here.

He's been with Dan and I ever since. We're up every three hours, but surprising not exhausted - yet.

Tomorrow is the big day. Birthmother is scheduled to sign papers in the early afternoon and if all goes well ... we leave the hospital with Tyler. And he's ours. So, we'll know shortly for sure. In the meantime, we're loving every minutes of parenthood. He's been such a good baby so far. And in my mind, he'll forever be this content and perfect.

More updates to come ...
-Jodi

July 3rd - baby day!

2009-07-02T13:07:00.002-05:00

We have a date! Small change ... no c-section, but the birthmother is being induced on Friday, July 3 at 5:30 a.m. And we get to be there for the delivery! So, we'll arrive at the hospital for 5:30 a.m. tomorrow and then we'll wait until she's ready for us to come into her room. This will be the first time we meet her. I think I'm most nervous for that moment. I've played the scene in my head a million times, but tomorrow it moves to reality.

So, we're just relaxing today. It's a HOT one - 97 degrees! We'll have more pictures and info to share tomorrow.
-Jodi

Big Day Tomorrow

2009-07-02T00:56:00.002-05:00

As most of you know (because I have been shouting it from the rooftops) it's time for us to meet our baby boy. We got the call Tuesday morning to head to Florida. So, we packed the car to the brim - no joke. We left Tuesday night and made it to our destination Wednesday night. Long, long drive. Lots of great scenery, lots of road construction, lots of little naps, lots of laughing, lots of bugs on the windshield, and lots of talking about what it will be like to be parents. But we are here and waiting. Dan's parents arrived about 30 minutes before we did.

Baby will be here by the 4th of July. I'm still pinching myself. We'll keep everyone updated as much as possible with this blog and Facebook.

Be back soon! Good night. -Jodi

Holding Pattern

2009-06-29T08:50:00.002-05:00

We are officially in a holding pattern. Just circling, waiting for the call. It's "next week" and we haven't heard any updates. In fact, the adoption lawyer didn't hear from the birthmother last week. We're not sure what day her appointment was, but hopefully we'll hear soon. For the time being it is business as usual.

I thought maybe, just maybe, baby Tyler would come today and he'd be able to share his birthday with his Grandpa Paynter. No such luck. There are four family birthdays in July, so we'll see how that goes.

We took the weekend and got registered for gifts. Lots of options, but we've also gotten lots of advice from friends and family, which helped. We also went to the Brewer game, cleaned the house, did a bunch of yardwork, went to church, visited my grandpa and had a date night. Saw The Hangover at the movies. Entertaining movie and I even laughed out loud a few times. Full weekend, but very productive.

Until the phone call ...
-Jodi

Tyler is almost here!

2009-06-22T12:02:00.002-05:00

The latest update we have is to plan for next week. How's that for pinning it down? Actually, we're relieved that we have a little more time to pack things up. As well as Tyler having a little more time for development and growth. The birthmom's blood pressure came back down last week, so they are giving him a little more time in the womb.

So, it looks like Tyler Addison will be joining the world the week of June 29th!
-Jodi

Moving in Fast Forward

2009-06-17T21:51:00.004-05:00

Tyler is coming! We received a call on Tuesday and the takeaway was that Tyler will be here sooner rather than later. We're excited he's coming, but the circumstances surrounding the early delivery are the tough part. As we mentioned before, the birthmother has skin cancer and needs to have treatments that they can't start while she's pregnant. Then on Tuesday at her doctor appointment they became concerned about preeclampsia. She goes back in tomorrow and then we'll find out what day they are going to do a scheduled c-section.

So, we've pushed things into high gear so we're ready to go. We're excited and nervous, but most of all ... I can't believe it's finally happening. I am going to be a MOM and Dan is going to be a DAD.

I'll update tomorrow when we know the day Tyler is entering the world.
-Jodi

Back to Back Updates!

2009-06-07T23:24:00.003-05:00

Dan here with a quick update. Yesterday night, we had some friends' families over and grilled up some hamburgers and hot dogs. We had five little ones over and playing on the living room floor. It was nice to see the kids eating, playing and having fun and their parents. Some stories were read, some cars were raced, and everyone had a good time. I did note that one of the fathers looked plum tuckered out by nights end, but it may have been due to playing volleyball in the crummy weather earlier in the day.

Today, we went to visit little baby Leo for the first time. He's only a week old and his parents are first timers just as we will be. As I held him, I couldn't help but think about what it will be like to hold our baby boy for the first time. Hopefully, we'll find out sometime in the next six weeks. The crib is complete, the furniture's setup, and even the stuffed animals are in place. After putting together Tyler's room, it somehow seems more real to me. I'm so excited and can't wait to meet him.

But while we're excited and preparing to become parents, the birthmother is dealing with a nerve racking situation. My heart and prayers go out to her and her family. Please keep her and Tyler in your thoughts and prayers. I know I will.

Lastly, I'd like to thank everyone who's given us hand me downs, baby advice, and support in general. We really appreciate it!

May God smile on you and your family today...

Dan

Slacker Jodi Here!

2009-06-06T16:38:00.004-05:00

I know I've been absent from here for quite a while. Sorry, for those of you who are still checking. Things have been crazy busy trying to get ready for the baby. Since it's been so long ... I'll give you the short version of updates:
- We've decided to name the baby Tyler Addison. Tyler because we like it and Addison is after my grandfather.
- The room is officially painted (as of last night) and we hope to set up the furniture tomorrow. The upstairs is a total disaster area right now.
- Crib is 3/4 of the way set up and we bought a mattress.
- We've gotten lots of newborn hand-me-downs to help get us through the first few months. Thanks Sharon, Courtney, Angela and Vicki!
- We bought the Chicco Travel System. It's still in a box in the garage, but it's here.
- We have a Pack N Play from Jayne (my mother-in-law). She had one at the house when Austin and Adam were little, so we're using that for the trip.
- Deanna (my sister-in-law) gave us a bunch of things too that she's been saving - glider, baby jogger, wagon, etc. We also got back all of the Brewer clothes we've bought for the boys over the years.
- Speaking of Brewer gear, Dan has been buying and saving Brewer clothes for years for our little boy. Don't be surprised if he's wearing Brewer gear every time you see him. :)

Now for some quick updates on the adoption situation. Baby is doing well and as of last week, they were estimating his weight to be 4 lbs. 2 oz. He's right on schedule and the due date is 7/18. However, one absolutely horrible situation has presented itself. We found out in the last couple of weeks that the birthmother was diagnosed with skin cancer - melanoma. It is pretty serious and she's been sent to a cancer center for treatment. Obviously they can't start chemo while she's pregnant, but they are going to do some topical surgery and treatments. I can't even pretend to imagine what that poor girl is going through. Dealing with either of these situations would be difficult, but to have them both to deal with is unimaginable. Although I think about her and the baby daily, my prayers include a little something extra for her. She needs strength during this time.

With all of this going on, Dan and I are pushing everything into high gear. They may have to take the baby early so they can start treatments, if needed. Today is week 34 so baby Tyler is getting more and more ready every day now. I've washed the baby clothes I have and have packed a little suitcase for Tyler. Next week, I'll pack our bags.

I'll get better at posting here so I can keep everyone updated. Keep those thoughts and prayers coming for us, Tyler and for the birthmother.

Thanks. -Jodi

Entering Third Trimester

2009-04-21T22:11:00.004-05:00

Only three short months to the due date! Thank you to everyone who answered our poll, posted comments and sent me info on baby items, child care research, pediatrician questions, etc. They are all very helpful and will be put to good use.

We have received family medical records and reports from the birthmother's doctor appointments. Most importantly, baby is healthy. I logged on to babycenter.com and have been getting updates so we can follow the baby's development. It says that the baby is opening and closing his eyes now and even sucking his thumb. Amazing! I can't wait to meet him.

I've looked into travel planning for July, but it's probably going to be a last-minute booking. Lots of options to consider though - hotel, long-term stay, condo? Drive or fly?

Our packed bag for the hospital will actually be several bags, a few suitcases and a car seat. No complaints here! - Jodi

Baby Stuff

2009-04-05T20:28:00.002-05:00

We went to Babies R Us this weekend. Man oh man do we need the stuff. And there are so many options. So, I'd like to ask all you parents out there ... what were some of the must-haves for you? What were some features on those items you couldn't live without? Or you wish you had? Any and all info is appreciated. We need to get some basics before we go to Florida, so we're looking at Travel Systems, Pack N Plays, diapers, bottles, etc. Anything and everything we'll need in the first two weeks until we get back to Wisconsin.

Fire away! We need your input.
-Jodi

It's a BOY!

2009-03-24T17:17:00.003-05:00

I just realized I forgot to include that It's A Boy! It's kind of funny at this point. My sister has four boys and Dan's sister has two boys. It's all boys all the time! Actually Vicki's little guy is only two weeks old, so Ethan and our son will be the same age. Three of her boys were born in July too. I guess this little guy was destined to be in our family.
-Jodi

Big News!

2009-03-22T17:41:00.002-05:00

We've been absent from the blog for a while ... but for good reason! Dan and I have received a match from a birthmother. Yes, you read correctly. The baby is due in July. Our baby!

Over the last few weeks we've been busy with paperwork, phone calls, and the hardest of all ... trying to contain our excitement in public. There have been many a happy dances being done in our household. Lots of smiling and even some tears of joy. If all continues to go well, we'll be parents this summer. Sometimes I still can't believe it.

We're not sharing details of the birthparents or the situation surrounding the adoption out of respect for everyone involved. Although we're surrounded with joy and excitement, there is also a very tough situation/decision involved on the other end. We hope everyone understands.

We've also been busy talking baby names, signing up for child care, looking at nursery decorations. All the fun stuff. We're so excited, I don't even know how to explain it. We have lots to do in a few short months to prepare, but we're ready for it all. Dan and I are going to be parents!
-Jodi

No News But Good News

2009-02-20T16:32:00.003-06:00

We heard last night that the birthmom hasn't made a decision yet. The good news about that is that we're still in the running. Hopefully we'll hear something soon. -Jodi

Big Purchase

2009-02-17T22:19:00.005-06:00

Dan and I have bought a crib! That's right, we now have a crib and baby bedding. We haven't put the crib together yet, and won't until we need it, but it's here. We actually saw it a few months ago and really liked it, but we felt kind of weird buying it. Or at least I did. But last weekend, we brought that exciting piece of furniture home. At some point we're going to paint the room too. Just haven't thought that far ahead yet. Decorator I am NOT.

Thanks to everyone who commented or emailed me about the recent opportunity. We're still waiting to hear so I don't have any updates on that yet. I did call to follow up last Thursday and they said they would get back to me ... still waiting for that for that return call which I have to admit is a little disappointing. Hopefully, they are working on things behind the scenes.

Until next time ... -Jodi

Waiting Stinks

2009-02-10T20:29:00.003-06:00

OK, waiting is tough enough, but waiting to hear from the Florida law office about the recent situation - stinks even more. I'm not getting my hopes up. (At least that has been my daily mantra since Friday night.) But it is so very hard not to get excited. I really hope we hear soon - one way or the other - my stomach can't handle this.

On a pathetic note ... I just noticed that one of the couples that signed up at the local agency around the same time we did ... well they're now back on the list for their second adoption. The shocker was their adoptive son is two! Now there was a wake-up call.

Did I mention waiting STINKS!? (ugh - I think I'll go eat worms.) -Jodi

Please Cross Everything!

2009-02-08T09:55:00.002-06:00

Fingers, toes, maybe your eyes once in a while. Whatever you've got, cross them for luck. There was a scenario presented to us late on Friday from the Florida law office. The birthparents haven't chosen us, but for once we're in the running. Dan and I feel good about the situation from what we've heard so far. That's why we need all the positive thoughts, wishes, prayers that you can conjour up. We'll keep you all updated as we get updates ... either way. Thank you! -Jodi

Scam #1 - Check

2009-02-03T12:11:00.004-06:00

We received our very first solicitation via email. It was from Father Marius who just happens to work at an orphanage and has children under the age of two that need to be adopted. Sounds too good to be true. That's because it is. Adoption scams. I had heard about these solicitations on a yahoo adoption scam group I belong to. And thank goodness, because I can see how getting an email like this could result in responses. Adoption is an emotional ride and people don't always use their best judgement when emotions are involved.

The upside to this ... our email and profile are out there. People are seeing it.

I spoke with the Florida office today and they asked us to send a few more profiles down to them. Still busy, but no matches just yet. And the local office sent us our web stats:

1,408 visitors to "Adoptive Parents"
115 visitors to "Pregnant?"
90 visitors to our profile

There has been quite a bit of activity with the local office, but no matches for us. Actually a couple of the adoptions are being reviewed and so the children are being held up in foster care. Maybe not being chosen was the blessing this time.

Happy February everyone! -Jodi

Florida Follow Up

2009-01-20T20:49:00.002-06:00

I checked in with the Florida law office today. Just an email to see how things are going, if anything was progressing, etc., etc., etc. Last time we heard from them, things were picking up, but that was before Christmas and we haven't heard anything since. They told us we would only hear if there was news ... but sometimes it's just tough to sit and wait. I don't expect to hear ... "oh yeah, we forgot to call, you've been matched," but I'm just hoping for a little update. Didn't hear back, but hopefully tomorrow. Of course, we'll let you know as soon as we know. -Jodi

December Stats

2009-01-12T12:38:00.003-06:00

We have had some activity in the past two months. Adoption Services, Inc. in Mequon showed our profile three times. However, most of the birthmothers decided to parent. The holidays must be a very tough time for expectant mothers with unplanned pregnancies. I can only imagine.

Other than that, we know our online profile was viewed 97 times and there were 111 visitors to the "Pregnant?" page. I did see that there were four couples moved to "matched and waiting." There have been quite a few new couples on the site and those seem to be the ones getting matched quickly.

We haven't heard much from the law office in Florida in the last few weeks.
That's it for now. Hope everyone is still on track with their New Year Resolution. -Jodi

Baby Bedding Purchase

2008-12-30T19:20:00.004-06:00

After waiting for so long, Dan and I made the first official baby purchase. We bought a bedding set - gender neutral - and we love it. We used some of our Christmas money. We've had one room upstairs that has been in a holding pattern for years, so we decided to take our time and start getting it ready. I used to think that walking by an empty baby room would make me sad, but the more I thought about it ... it doesn't matter what is or isn't in that room ... I still think about it. So, why not get the room prepared. Besides, buying the bedding was fun, and gave us hope. We will be parents in 2009 - I can feel it.

I hope everyone rings in the New Year in your own special way! - Jodi

Holidays and Adoption

2008-12-14T19:42:00.004-06:00

The additional profiles have made it to Madonna Finney's Law Office in Florida. At least that's what FedEx tells me. We're happy with our books now and hoping to get some good news soon. What an awesome Christmas present that would be?!? I try not to get my hopes up, but it's so hard, especially this time of year. Christmas is that much more fun with little ones around.

I was with two of my nephews this past weekend at my grandpa's holiday party at the health care center ... anyway, Santa made a surprise visit and I saw their faces light up. Mason, 3, could hardly contain himself and when Santa made his rounds Mason promptly informed him he wanted drums for Christmas. Good luck there - I think Uncle Craig has that covered. We sang Christmas carols and nibbled on some snacks. It was a real treat to experience that with them. I don't get to see that level of Christmas excitement normally. At least not yet. But now I can't wait until we can experience it all for ourselves.

Enjoy the rest of your Christmas planning! And don't forget to enjoy the moments. They're all special. -Jodi

Movement (?)

2008-12-04T17:35:00.004-06:00

Over the last couple of days we have heard from the Florida law office that things were in a bit of a lull, but have recently picked up. They have requested additional profile copies ASAP because there are potential matches they could send our profile out to. Encouraging news. I overnighted what I had last night and will order more online tonight. Unfortunately with the holidays, it is taking a while for delivery. I do know that they are working with around 20 couples at the moment. It's time to send positive thoughts, prayers and cross your fingers and toes for luck.
Thanks to everyone for still following our journey! -Jodi

November News

2008-11-25T08:36:00.002-06:00

Just wanted to quickly update everyone that there was once again some movement. I inquired to our local agency - Adoption Services, Inc. - about any potential birthmothers and surprisingly, they were working with two. Our profile was shown, but not selected by either. One birthomother chose a couple where the woman was adopted and recently met her own birthmother. Can't compete against that. The other chose to meet three couples, but we were not one of them. I'm going to have to take a long, hard look at our profile.

We did make some updates to our profile that the law office in Florida will receive. We had more freedom there and used snapfish.com to create a photobook. I'm waiting for the first one to deliver but it seems to be backed up because of holiday orders. Other than that ... we're set.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
-Jodi

November update

2008-11-13T18:53:00.003-06:00

It's been an entire month since the last post and things have been busy for Dan and I. My Busia had a terrible fall and was never able to recover. After several weeks, she passed away and I found myself thinking - a lot - that she was never going to meet my son or daughter. That makes me so sad, because she was such a supporter of our decision to adopt. She always had questions and wanted to know how it was going. But I know that if there is ANYTHING she can do from up above ... then it will only be a matter of time before Dan and I are parents.

We are officially renewed for another year. We've received the updated foster care license. We're signed with Adoption Services, Inc. and The Law Office of Madonna Finney. The wait continues, but I really feel like it won't be long. Can't explain why, it's just a feeling.

Take care everyone and thanks for your continuing support. It helps during this long wait to have such great friends and family. -Jodi

Tough Call

2008-10-12T16:51:00.002-05:00

Late last week, I received a call at work from our new adoption partner - Madonna H. Finney's office. They had a situation in Florida and since it wasn't a "normal situation," they wanted to check in and see if we'd be interested in pursuing. WHAT?!?!? Movement so quickly. This was so foreign to us, but so exciting. Without going into a ton of detail to respect everyone involved, Dan and I decided the situation wasn't the right fit for us. It wasn't an easy decision and I still think about it, but deep down I know it was the right decision.

The good news is that we feel we definitely made the right call by signing up with the law office. They obviously have movement and we really feel it's only a matter of time before we're parents. -Jodi

Decisions, Decisions

2008-10-10T09:23:00.002-05:00

It's been a whole month since an update, so I apologize and hope you all haven't fallen off the blog. Dan and I have decided to move forward with the Law Office of Madonna H. Finney in Tallahassee, FL. We had a conference call a couple of weeks ago and really liked what we heard. So, we're moving forward. Sometimes you just a gut and for the first time, I finally feel like things are going to happen for us. We will actually adopt in Florida and so we'll be following their adoption laws. Many are the same, but there are few differences. I'll post some of those later.

We have a homestudy meeting with the local agency this afternoon at our house. Then we'll be set for another year. We'll continue to be listed with Adoption Services, Inc. and we'll also use them for our post-placement visits.

There you have it. The most recent news in the adoption saga. -Jodi

Florida Adoption Law Firm

2008-09-09T12:42:00.003-05:00

We have our consultation meeting set for late September with the adoption law firm in Florida. We're both very excited about it. We did get clarification that we can be listed with both our current agency as well as the law firm. In the meantime, we need to get our homestudy renewed. Believe it or not, it's been a whole year of waiting. So, that's what we're doing now. We need to go back and get employment, health, background checks, etc. done again. Hopefully it won't take too long to pull together since we did it once before. I've also joined a couple of adoption groups on Yahoo. One is for domestic agencies and the other is adoption scams. You can never be too careful. Dan and I are also reworking our profile that gets shared with prospective birthparents. The law firm doesn't need a whole binder, so we can play with the format a bit.
So, that's that for now. Until later ... -Jodi

Still there?

2008-08-22T16:28:00.003-05:00

Anyone, anyone ... Bueller? Just checking.

The latest update for Dan and I and our adoption journey includes expanding our search a bit. Based on a referral from a friend (of a friend), we are considering working with a law office out of Florida. We have sent in our initial application and are awaiting a phone consultation. That should happen some time in September and then we'll let you all know if we decide to sign with them. I've done lots of online research on the firm, been to chat rooms and message boards and have only seen good things about the firm. Wish us luck with our expanded search. We'll let you know how that progresses.
-Jodi

Friend of a Friend of a Friend ...

2008-08-03T20:48:00.004-05:00

A couple of weeks ago we heard about a little girl who may be placed for adoption. We haven't heard much recently, but hope that if the situation is still open, that we will be given the opportunity to meet and discuss the possibility of an adoption plan. If we meet, we may or may not feel comfortable with each other. You just never know. We struggle, because it takes someone's unfortunate circumstance for us to have this opportunity. All we can promise is that we'd love, support and nuture this little girl or any child that we can call our own.

Thanks to everyone who is still checking in. Sorry there aren't more exciting updates, but this is a long process. Someday the payoff will be huge!

Enjoy your summer! -Jodi

Adoptive Families Magazine

2008-07-22T22:58:00.003-05:00

Dan and I have been subscribing to Adoptive Families Magazine now for about a year. (In fact, that reminds me that it's time for renewal.) We've found each issue very informative. This past issue had an article, Planning for Parenthood, which I found particularly interesting.
When a woman finds out she is pregnant, she has nine months to read books, prepare physically and emotionally, bond with other mothers and get a nursery ready. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of unknowns and lots of surprises coming for all mothers. However, I often questioned when/if I should start reading books and preparing a nursery? We don't know when we'll become parents - tomorrow or six months or a year from now. But this article put me at ease. For one reason, I know that the emotional tugging and uncertainty I feel must be pretty common among prospective adoptive parents. And another ... it gave some good advice in dealing with these feelings and getting more comfortable with the adoption ahead of us.
If anyone knows anyone else currently going through the adoption process, I would suggest forwarding the article for a quick read and a little reassurance.
-Jodi

Homestudy?

2008-07-14T21:33:00.005-05:00

I've had a couple people recently ask me about a homestudy. What is it, what do you do? Well, a homestudy is a process you go through to ensure that you are ready, willing and able to become adoptive parents. It consists of three visits with a social worker.

First Meeting - We met, as a couple, with our social worker. This meeting is used to assess our relationship, our intention and simply to get to know us better as a couple.

Second Meeting - We met, as individuals, with our social worker. This meeting goes into more detail about our families, our childhood, and our thoughts and feelings about each other.

Third Meeting - We met, as a couple at our house with our social worker. This process includes a walkthrough of our home. We actually babyproofed the house and made sure it met foster home standards. We had a smoke alarm on each floor, but we had to add smoke alarms to each bedroom. We also put locks on kitchen and bathroom cabinets, inserted plastic covers over the outlets, added doorknob locks to the basement doors and developed and posted a family fire escape plan. Needless to say ... our home is ready today for a little one. After the walkthrough we met for a third time with our social worker. We talked about parenting goals and our life with a child (or two or three or four).

That entire process takes about 1 1/2 to 2 months to complete. Then you receive a document that summarizes EVERYTHING. That is a homestudy.
-Jodi

Adoption Services Profiles

2008-07-11T15:25:00.006-05:00

We are currently working with Adoption Services out of Mequon and we have an online profile that gives birthparents a chance to learn a little bit more about us. Part of the adoption process is to create a physical binder with more pictures and information about us than is available through the online profile. Adoption Services takes multiple copies of the binders and stores them at both their Appleton and Mequon locations. They can loan them out to birthparents so they can get to know the adoptive couples and make a better decision about who they would like to place their baby with. -Dan

Adoption Services Inc.
2314 N. Grandview Blvd.Suite 300
Waukesha, WI 53188(888) 686-0443

http://www.adoptionservicesinc.com/w_DanandJodi.htm

National Adoption Options

2008-07-08T21:59:00.004-05:00

We've been receiving additional information from other adoption options and filtering through everything. The difference this time, is that we're looking at national programs instead of just local ones. Still not convinced that we're switching, but when the time comes to renew our homestudy we want to be sure we have all the options available to move as quickly as possible.

So far I've participated in a couple of phone conferences with agency consultants and we have another scheduled for tomorrow evening. This one is with Adoption Network Law Center. If anyone knows of anyone who has used this organization, I'd love to hear from you. Provided references are great (of course they would be), but personal references are even better.

Until later. -Jodi

Poll Down, New Poll Up

2008-07-01T21:12:00.003-05:00

Well, 100% of you have visited our online profile. Only two voted, but who said this was scientific research. There is a new poll up, so take a look, get counted and we'll look at results mid July.

In the meantime, Dan and I have been doing lots of research on additional domestic adoption opportunities and even checking out the Russian international adoption programs available. Lots to consider - AGAIN. The big question is are we making the right decisions or simply spinning our wheels? Check back often for the exciting conclusion ... or not. -Jodi

Slide Show Added

2008-06-29T19:09:00.003-05:00

To give you a little more incentive to visit our blog, we've added a slide show of pictures which we'll update periodically. We hope it's incentive and not a deterrent. Enjoy and if you have any interesting shots of Dan and I that we may be able to use in our adoption profile, please send them our way via email.
Thanks. -Jodi

We Need Your Eyes and Ears

2008-06-23T22:05:00.003-05:00

It's come to this. We need your help. When we hear about successful domestic adoptions, we find that most of the time it's because of someone, who knew someone, who knew someone with an unplanned pregnancy. So, PLEASE keep your eyes and ears open for us. Maybe you'll know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who is considering adoption. It's a tough thing to ask of someone, but every little bit helps. If you do hear of something please have them email us or visit our online profile.
Thanks Team Paynter!
-Jodi

Web stats

2008-06-21T13:38:00.004-05:00

Our most recent web stats came in from Adoption Services, Inc.

455 visitors to Adoptive Parents page
101 visitors to Pregnant page
72 visitors to our profile (which I'm sure includes a few of you.)

The hits to various profiles varied from 51 to 86, so it looks like we fell right in the middle. There are currently 12 couples listed as "Waiting" on the web site and there has been quite a bit of activity with four couples currently listed as "Matched and Waiting."

I did notice that there was a call from Adoption Services on our caller ID from Thursday. We were out of town, so I didn't see it until Saturday morning. No message though. Must not have been too important, but I will follow up when the offices reopen on Monday.

Until next time. -Jodi

Domestic versus International

2008-06-07T13:37:00.004-05:00

Dan and I weighed a lot of options before deciding to pursue a domestic adoption. After years of infertility treatments, we hit a point where we had some big decisions to make. The first decision was: do we want to be a 2-person family or do we want to be parents? That was answered pretty quickly for us. More than anything ... we want to be parents.

After that there were several options. Before we did any research on those options, my mindframe was that we would pursue an international adoption route. So we started researching through the Internet to compare available programs and attended a tradeshow to gather information from various agencies. We walked away with information on international adoption only at that time. An overwhelming amount.

Through our research the words "domestic adoption" and "surrogacy" kept crossing our paths as additional options. We started learning a little more about both options and the facts and myths that surround both. We learned that many of the things that turned us off in the first place were myths.

A very long story short, we stopped comparing countries and started comparing surrogacy, domestic and international. There are lots of factors to compare: time, age of child, legal issues, cost, birthparent involvement, emotional impact and social impact. I listed some of those comparisons below.

Time
- Domestic wait time is open ended. The birthmother has to choose us.
- International wait time varies by country, but a match is pretty much guaranteed after that certain amount of time. You also have to account for periods of time in the adoption country. Usually weeks at a time and one or two trips.

Age
- Domestic can be any age, but it is also the only program that allows for newborn adoption.
- International is usually between 12 and 24 months. Some programs like Columbia allow for 3 to 6 months.

Cost
(I think it's important to note that "cost" means the fee for services and legal assistance associated with adoption.)
- Simply stated, domestic is less than international because of the lack of international travel and additional legal fees.

To be completely honest, it wasn't a slamdunk decision for us. There were pros and cons to all the programs. After the facts are on the table then you have to figure in your emotions, insurance, jobs, other people, etc. In the end we decided on a domestic adoption route. Is this the only decision for us ... no. But at our current place in life, it is the decision that fits us best.

Our homestudy will be up for renewal this summer and it seems like a natural time to evaluate the options again. -Jodi

Comments, Contacts and More

2008-06-03T17:37:00.005-05:00

Thanks to everyone who voted in the online poll. Looks like the majority of people know a couple who has adopted internationally (80% of respondents) and one person knew a couple who adopted domestically. New survey posted - check it out!

I also want to extend the offer to comment on the blog or on the things I'm writing about. If anyone has any input or maybe some resources out there that could help Dan and I in our journey, we are completely open to your suggestions. Also, if there is information you wish I'd share here and haven't or have questions for us feel free to contact us at our regular email addresses or our adoption email account. (Believe me, I check it every night.)

The adoption agency told us we could attempt to find our own birthparents as well. So, I am getting close to completing a web site for Dan and I and hoping to use that to reach out to potentional birthparents. I'll link to it here once I have it completed. We've also notified our doctors, so should they encounter an unplanned pregancy considering an adoption plan, they will hopefully pass on our name. We've looked at message boards and adoption forums, but that is still a bit intimidating and unchartered territory for me.

That's the latest and greatest. Looking forward to feedback. -Jodi

Visit to Grandma's House

2008-05-27T17:57:00.003-05:00

I didn't look at the adoption agency site all weekend. I'm quite proud of that accomplishment. (Ok, I was up north visiting my grandma and couldn't get Internet access.) So, of course, I checked this morning and lo and behold another match was made - not Dan and I. It's good that there is action, but goodness gracious. Dan keeps the positive outlook for us. Our odds do increase as couples move to the 'matched and waiting' category. Eventually a birthmother will have to choose us, right?

I mentioned visiting my grandma earlier. She is 91 and wouldn't be very happy about me sharing that fact, but I believe she should wear her age proudly. During the visit, she mentioned that someone on my grandfather's side adopted a child. She didn't know many details, but oddly, I found it comforting. She gave me several pieces of family history which I still need to read through. I'm hoping there will be more information in there.

I also noticed all of the photos and the cards and the coloring book pages she has hanging up from my nephews. She asks about them and obviously having those three great-grandsons means so much to her. Although I don't think my child will ever truly know her, I do hope that my grandma gets to meet him or her.

Until next time.
-Jodi

Moving Up

2008-05-21T22:19:00.003-05:00

There are currently three couples considered "matched and waiting" at the agency we work with. We've now moved to the top row of the couples "waiting," which means ... we've been waiting a long time. Fourth longest to be exact. No real surprise there. We knew it wouldn't happen overnight. But we still dreamed it would happen that way. Feelings vary daily and it depends on if the head or heart is driving the thought process at that moment.

We wanted to thank those people who emailed us with suggestions for our online profile and of course for the encouragement. We have incredible friends and family. We're compiling comments and will email changes to our adoption agency in the upcoming weeks. Dan and I are also discussing becoming a bit more aggressive in our own search for a birthmother. That's not an easy task and we're researching the best way to go about it so we protect all involved. In the end, it's about a child. It's not a race, it's a lifelong journey.

I hope everyone enjoys their extended weekends for Memorial Day - the unofficial start of summer. -Jodi

Mid-May Update

2008-05-18T17:52:00.002-05:00

We received a small update from the adoption agency last week. No matches for us. I believe there was one potential match, but the birthmother chose another couple. There has been an increase in the number of waiting couples. Due to some of the recent holds and changes in the international adoption programs, they are seeing an increase in the domestic adoption programs.
We've looked at our online profile so many times, I'm not sure what changes to make, if any. That said, I'd love for others to check out our online profile and post some comments or suggestions here. Any little thing may help. You know us and sometimes it is difficult to critique yourself. Thanks. -Jodi

April - no matching

2008-05-02T16:52:00.004-05:00

Today we followed up with the adoption agency and unfortunately there weren't any new birthmothers that matched with us for the month of April, so our portfolio hasn't been shown. We haven't received the web stats update, but that will let us know how much activity is on the site and how many times our online profile was viewed. That's always a tricky stat because I know I check out the site to see if new couples have been added to the mix or what couples were moved to the "matched and waiting" section. If I do it, I can only imagine other couples do as well. (Or maybe people aren't as nosey as me. Nah, that couldn't be.)

Have a good weekend! - Jodi

The Selection Process

2008-04-21T16:31:00.003-05:00

It's been a little more than a week, and guess what ... we're still waiting. (Gee, won't this be an exciting blog.) Since there hasn't been much movement this past week, I thought I'd update on how the actual selection process works.

After Dan and I were officially approved, we took on the big task of building our portfolio: a big binder describing our relationship, home, lifestyle, family, friends and our hopes and dreams of making parenthood a reality. This portfolio is filled with photos too, because we felt it meant more to see us then to just tell about us. Sounds like an easy task, but it is tougher than you think to talk about yourself. I agonzied over photos and words, but in the end, we realized that we just needed to be us and that the best situation will work out because of that.

The binder is housed at Adoption Services, Inc. and if we're a "match" to a potential birthmother and/or birthfather, they view our portfolio and any other "couple matches." From there they can choose a couple or maybe several to meet in person. We haven't made it to this step yet. We do know that our portfolio has been viewed by a handful of birthmothers, but no phone calls just yet. Now that we've been waiting for a few months, we recently made some adjustments to the portfolio and have the new and improved version on display.

While we wait, we think of baby names, look at baby clothes, buy baby toys, etc. I have some great friends who have reminded me that it's okay to do a little baby shopping, so we'll be visiting Babies R Us in the upcoming weeks and maybe picking up a few essentials so when we get that exciting call ... we'll be ready. Well, as ready as we can be.
-Jodi

Adoption Process - Just the Beginning

2008-04-11T18:11:00.005-05:00

We've started this blog so we can share our exciting journey toward parenthood through an adoption plan. We made the decision to adopt after 8 1/2 years of marriage and many years of trying to conceive a child. For a couple of years, we researched, discussed, researched some more and in January 2007, we started the paperwork for a domestic adoption and by August 2007 we were approved as foster parents and officially considered "waiting." And it really is just that, we wait, and wait, and wait, and hope too, that we'll get that exciting call everyday. Because there is a lot of waiting in the process, I thought this would be a convenient way for everyone to get updates on our journey. We're so excited about this life-changing decision, because we know it was what we were meant to do. Check back and we'll fill you in on the waiting and hopefully ... the exciting call when it happens. In the meantime, feel free to check out our online profile at Adoption Services, Inc. -Jodi