Slide Show Added

To give you a little more incentive to visit our blog, we've added a slide show of pictures which we'll update periodically. We hope it's incentive and not a deterrent. Enjoy and if you have any interesting shots of Dan and I that we may be able to use in our adoption profile, please send them our way via email.
Thanks. -Jodi

We Need Your Eyes and Ears

It's come to this. We need your help. When we hear about successful domestic adoptions, we find that most of the time it's because of someone, who knew someone, who knew someone with an unplanned pregnancy. So, PLEASE keep your eyes and ears open for us. Maybe you'll know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone who is considering adoption. It's a tough thing to ask of someone, but every little bit helps. If you do hear of something please have them email us or visit our online profile.
Thanks Team Paynter!
-Jodi

Web stats

Our most recent web stats came in from Adoption Services, Inc.

• 455 visitors to Adoptive Parents page
• 101 visitors to Pregnant page
• 72 visitors to our profile (which I'm sure includes a few of you.)

The hits to various profiles varied from 51 to 86, so it looks like we fell right in the middle. There are currently 12 couples listed as "Waiting" on the web site and there has been quite a bit of activity with four couples currently listed as "Matched and Waiting."

I did notice that there was a call from Adoption Services on our caller ID from Thursday. We were out of town, so I didn't see it until Saturday morning. No message though. Must not have been too important, but I will follow up when the offices reopen on Monday.

Until next time. -Jodi

Domestic versus International

Dan and I weighed a lot of options before deciding to pursue a domestic adoption. After years of infertility treatments, we hit a point where we had some big decisions to make. The first decision was: do we want to be a 2-person family or do we want to be parents? That was answered pretty quickly for us. More than anything ... we want to be parents.

After that there were several options. Before we did any research on those options, my mindframe was that we would pursue an international adoption route. So we started researching through the Internet to compare available programs and attended a tradeshow to gather information from various agencies. We walked away with information on international adoption only at that time. An overwhelming amount.

Through our research the words "domestic adoption" and "surrogacy" kept crossing our paths as additional options. We started learning a little more about both options and the facts and myths that surround both. We learned that many of the things that turned us off in the first place were myths.

A very long story short, we stopped comparing countries and started comparing surrogacy, domestic and international. There are lots of factors to compare: time, age of child, legal issues, cost, birthparent involvement, emotional impact and social impact. I listed some of those comparisons below.

Time
- Domestic wait time is open ended. The birthmother has to choose us.
- International wait time varies by country, but a match is pretty much guaranteed after that certain amount of time. You also have to account for periods of time in the adoption country. Usually weeks at a time and one or two trips.

Age
- Domestic can be any age, but it is also the only program that allows for newborn adoption.
- International is usually between 12 and 24 months. Some programs like Columbia allow for 3 to 6 months.

Cost
(I think it's important to note that "cost" means the fee for services and legal assistance associated with adoption.)
- Simply stated, domestic is less than international because of the lack of international travel and additional legal fees.

To be completely honest, it wasn't a slamdunk decision for us. There were pros and cons to all the programs. After the facts are on the table then you have to figure in your emotions, insurance, jobs, other people, etc. In the end we decided on a domestic adoption route. Is this the only decision for us ... no. But at our current place in life, it is the decision that fits us best.

Our homestudy will be up for renewal this summer and it seems like a natural time to evaluate the options again. -Jodi

Comments, Contacts and More

Thanks to everyone who voted in the online poll. Looks like the majority of people know a couple who has adopted internationally (80% of respondents) and one person knew a couple who adopted domestically. New survey posted - check it out!

I also want to extend the offer to comment on the blog or on the things I'm writing about. If anyone has any input or maybe some resources out there that could help Dan and I in our journey, we are completely open to your suggestions. Also, if there is information you wish I'd share here and haven't or have questions for us feel free to contact us at our regular email addresses or our adoption email account. (Believe me, I check it every night.)

The adoption agency told us we could attempt to find our own birthparents as well. So, I am getting close to completing a web site for Dan and I and hoping to use that to reach out to potentional birthparents. I'll link to it here once I have it completed. We've also notified our doctors, so should they encounter an unplanned pregancy considering an adoption plan, they will hopefully pass on our name. We've looked at message boards and adoption forums, but that is still a bit intimidating and unchartered territory for me.

That's the latest and greatest. Looking forward to feedback. -Jodi

Visit to Grandma's House

I didn't look at the adoption agency site all weekend. I'm quite proud of that accomplishment. (Ok, I was up north visiting my grandma and couldn't get Internet access.) So, of course, I checked this morning and lo and behold another match was made - not Dan and I. It's good that there is action, but goodness gracious. Dan keeps the positive outlook for us. Our odds do increase as couples move to the 'matched and waiting' category. Eventually a birthmother will have to choose us, right?

I mentioned visiting my grandma earlier. She is 91 and wouldn't be very happy about me sharing that fact, but I believe she should wear her age proudly. During the visit, she mentioned that someone on my grandfather's side adopted a child. She didn't know many details, but oddly, I found it comforting. She gave me several pieces of family history which I still need to read through. I'm hoping there will be more information in there.

I also noticed all of the photos and the cards and the coloring book pages she has hanging up from my nephews. She asks about them and obviously having those three great-grandsons means so much to her. Although I don't think my child will ever truly know her, I do hope that my grandma gets to meet him or her.

Until next time.
-Jodi

Moving Up

There are currently three couples considered "matched and waiting" at the agency we work with. We've now moved to the top row of the couples "waiting," which means ... we've been waiting a long time. Fourth longest to be exact. No real surprise there. We knew it wouldn't happen overnight. But we still dreamed it would happen that way. Feelings vary daily and it depends on if the head or heart is driving the thought process at that moment.

We wanted to thank those people who emailed us with suggestions for our online profile and of course for the encouragement. We have incredible friends and family. We're compiling comments and will email changes to our adoption agency in the upcoming weeks. Dan and I are also discussing becoming a bit more aggressive in our own search for a birthmother. That's not an easy task and we're researching the best way to go about it so we protect all involved. In the end, it's about a child. It's not a race, it's a lifelong journey.

I hope everyone enjoys their extended weekends for Memorial Day - the unofficial start of summer. -Jodi